27 January 2012
As an alcoholic... is it wrong to have expectations?
The law of expectations tells us that whatever one expects, with confidence, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When one expects with confidence that good things will happen, they usually will. If on the other hand, one expects a negative outcome to a situation, then the outcome will usually be negative.
Through the 12 Steps I learned that expectations are the forerunner to resentments. Those expectations though always involved others. An example would be me helping someone and then expecting some kind of payback. When that payback never comes then that expectation leads to resentments.
There are some expectations that can be healthy for us. Expecting that my life will be better next year then it was this year is a reasonable expectation. This expectation is solely in my own hands and if I do it with a healthy attitude it will have nothing to do with others just myself.
I've talked before about watching my goals and dreams come to life by just sitting back and watching them develop. When I make plans for these expectations to come to life is when I stand in the way of the Universe and they never turn out the way I hope.
All you have to do is picture your dream. Smell it, taste it, feel it, become one with that dream. Don't worry about how much time is needed for the dream to come true or how much money it will take... that will come in time. If you worry about those things too soon you will destroy the dream and the expectation will change.
I believe that we should expect things in our life... we should have goals and we should expect them to become reality. The key word with the above phrase is “usually.” Our expectations need to be realistic. Like I have said many times, we need to remember our dreams, to never forget them... we need to live in reality yet we should never forget our dreams.
As an ACOA, I had no expectations with my future. I was told at any early age that I was dangerous and dumb and a baby. In recovery, I expect to do the best I can with the gifts God has given me. And the greatest gift of all? The freedom of choice. It is up to me what choices I take with the expectations I have. It is up to me to look at my expectations and decide which is pure fantasy and which can become reality.